InsaneJournal

Current mood:	horny
Current music:	Dangerous | Kardinal Offishall feat. Akon

[public entry]
FYI, Hannah and I rocked the VMAs Sunday night. The show sucked, but the after parties were killa. I’ll go ahead and admit it. I’m the one who put the beat down on New York. You know you all wish it coulda been you.

Ok, I didn’t. Hannah and I were on our best behaviors. We didn’t get all dramafied. But Lil Wayne did smack my ass.

I’ve been out of the country for a while. Longer than I was supposed to be and that’s got Raquel flipping out. I missed Fashion Rocks because I stayed an extra couple of days in Italy. Angie was nice enough to let me use their place in Milan. I left it clean, guys. Don’t worry. I didn’t have all the crazy, nasty sex there that you do.

So I missed Fashion Rocks and Raquel’s been blowing up my phone. I’ve been avoiding. I needed a break, you know? I already know what she’s going to say and I don’t want to deal with it right now. Don’t get me wrong. I really like being a model and I like that I’m getting to do more things now and that my face is a little more recognizable . . . and with any luck, with some of these projects I’ve been working on lately, even more famous . . . but I don’t want it to rule my life. I’ve got other things going on too, yo. It’s not all about smiling for the camera.

Anywayz. I was in London for about a week and a half, shooting a . . . wait for it . . . MUSIC VIDEO. No, I’m not starting a singing career. Please. As if. I’m just IN the video. I don’t wanna give up too much info, but let’s just say, it’s super mega hot. I can’t wait for it to hit MTV, even though MTV is all stupid reality shows now. Seriously. Audrina and LC kinda make me wanna shoot myself in the face. (Not really though. I like my face.)

Then I flew to Venice to work on a new Victoria’s Secret ad. It’s pretty sexy too and, get this, also features a rock star. With music.

The commercial isn’t set to air until December, but it also marks another really big development that I can’t talk about so much, but it’s crazy awesome. If you figure it out, don’t tell anyone!!!

I haven’t been home in a little over three weeks or so. By home, I mean Mama’s. I need to talk to Dante to find out if he’s had any luck with his realtor friend. He offered to help me find my own place.

It’s good to know people.



Hannah and Blue Only

Dante and I decided it might be for the best if we didn’t see each other for a while. Actually, that’s not really what happened, but it’s kinda what happened. I guess work turned out to be a useful excuse. It’s just . . . hard . . . being around him. Being together. But not really . . . together. Sometimes, I have to try really hard to stop that urge to kiss him.

I also talked to Lorenzo about the Dante thing. Kind of. He was sort of drugged up on pain pills at the time. I’m hoping he won’t remember. I showed up at his place, but then he’d been in this fight and, I dunno, that’s just who he is. He wasn’t even really that nice when I tried to help him out. He had this huge ass bruise on his ribs and one on his opposite shoulder. It was crazy ugly. I stayed the night with him, but we didn’t do anything. Of course. But we talked about that. And then when I tried to be nice to him the next morning, he got all bitchy when I ordered breakfast instead of trying to cook something and then he got all in my face – but not really IN my face cuz he was all slow and wounded – about why I was there. And. I might have told him I don’t like him. But then I might have pointed out that, duh, I have to at least like him a little bit or I wouldn’t have stuck around and wasted my time.

And then he might have said he was sorry. And he might have kissed me. And it might have made me just a little bit weak in the knees.

I needed to spend some time away from him, too, because I didn’t mean to tell him all that.

Why do these things have to be so complicated?